DON'T BE A 'LOLLIPOP' PARENT

                   For you to reach the heart,first, pass through the head.These are not by words.This is a pronouncement of my ancestors.They are of the view that,the head is the engine that propels the body. They further added that it is preferable to have an army of sheep led by a lion than an army of lions led by a sheep. The moral here is; the head determines all. I won't dwell much on these quotations. Let's draw a parallel from that and analyze what we've done or what we ought to do.

                   It is common to hear people complain.I believe you've heard someone say this,"I just did it because I had no other choice." Some blame others for their tribulations. It is not a crime to complain or to lament. It is the substance behind this lamentation that ought be questioned and/or studied. Look at this,some years back I was confronted with a tricky situation. A group of kenyan students were looking for an apartment. They had just arrived from Kenya.They had no clue about Morocco. Being the senior student around I had to jump in and assist them get a place to stay. Thanks to God, we managed to get an apartment. After this 'breakthrough' I thought the 'problem' was now behind us and life will continue smoothly. I was wrong! After two nights in their new home,they came back calling, "Moses,you know my mum said that place isn't good for us. I phoned my mum and she 'decreed' that she won't pay my rent if we stay there." 

                   At first I was astonished. I could not hold myself anymore. I shot back. That I tried my best to let them settle. If they find the place 'un-conducive', it was upon them to look for somewhere else. I left..... From this it is very easy to blame these young kenyans for waiting for 'decrees' thousands of miles away. I think the person to blame here is the parent. Yes, that "lollipop" parent. Those parents that think love is 'helping the kid do this or that'. Helping someone is making the person arrive at his decisions independently. It is foolhardy for any parent to think that giving 'decrees' to kids is helping them grow. I'm not yet a parent,but I think I'm in a capacity to say this to parents. Your kids aren't robots. They are humans. Humans are characterized by their thoughts and thinking capacity.

                  And this takes me back to where I began;heads determine the "movement" of the body. Parents are family heads. Children form the body. This body is connected to the head. They are one. But one is superior to the other.The head is superior. Before declaring 'decrees' thousands of miles away,think about your roles as heads and 'lions' with an army of sheep.